So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
Fake titties should be able inflate and deflate like tires. So on Saturday you can put on your Double D hooker titties or Sunday put on your size B church tits.
Three 40's of Mickeys, is no excuse to be naked at Baskin Robins.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
Burnt my ear trying to use the bathroom blow dryer as a telephone.
After you threw up you would repeatedly say "napkin" like a siren until somebody got you a fucking napkin.
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
I don't think he cares about your inhospitable uterus.
Halloween is the end of the singles holidays they don't start again until st. Patrick's day we better get wifed up or it's going to be a long winter lol
She made me a smoothie in the morning.. It was vodka and fruit.
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
I woke up to pee last night, got out of bed and proceeded to stand there because I had no idea where I was. Then, I heard my sexy as fuck personal trainers voice. Well-played blacked out me.
Randomize
