it's not the walk of shame if you do it in cowboy boots.
ron's 8" boning knife is for sale. oh and it comes with a flavor injector.
High?
hahahahaha turkey breast
im having a hard time not telling ppl about ur bathroom story
Calvin and Hobbes are double-teaming a butterfly. They're in the bathroom, and drawing a crowd.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
He woke up in the ambulance thinking he was still in the club.
I had a dream she was puking on me, but sadly in real life she was puking on me too
If she says "This is how acid feels" one more time I'm never trip-sitting them again.
I command you to take a shot and dance like the pretty little gay boy you are.
Oh my god. I just realized something amazing. If I get pregnant with a boy, that technically means I have a penis right??????
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
You were convinced you would hurt my car if you opened the door. Then you barfed in the pretzle bucket Peter gave you
T minus 20 hours until we forget our names, find some city cowboys, and g&t into the night.
I'll admit it. It was a bad idea to sneak a fart out while she was taking a nap. Can you bring me a pair of underwear from my dresser. Preferably the one with the walruses in party hats one.
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
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