it was a shit show
We all have our days. But yours might be on the internet.
i woke up in his bed, he had my shirt on
and high school musical 3 was playing on his lap top
That girl would be great looking if she lost 1000 pounds and cut off her head.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
I am going to be the most sexually active ladybug that he has ever seen
Turns out vomit takes off spray tan.
Just woke up. Need to shower and fuck. Be there when I'm done disappointing. Should be 30.
My head. My head is the problem. Also alcoholism.
The hypnotist is here. He has a black eye and smells like tequila.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
I found one of your hair extensions on the dance floor. You put it back in your hair
There something liberating about walking through the dorm hallways without pants on.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
She called and said she was waiting for me naked. I got there and she was in ratty sweats, sitting in Nick's lap, with divorce papers. Needless to say my night was shitty.
Randomize
