i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
They told me you were taking cheese cube shots and chasing them with barbecue sauce... Is this true?
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
She told me she's dating him because his apartment is a block from Taco Bell. I don't know how she's not fat.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I am drinking green tea.... My liver is in shock
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
Nice classy night out before we roll our faces off
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