Shes cool when Im fuckin smashed.....Sober.....She suuuuuuuuuuucks
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
Deadliest Catch is NOT foreplay
Would you still love me if I had no teeth
Yeah why?
Cuz i woke up this morning and a few are gone
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
Remind me to tell you the one about the cashier that wouldn't sell me Jim Beam and NyQuil.
I can't right now...you know Sunday night is whn I get drunk and do laundry.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
This teachers last name is pfister and she did the fisting motion to help explain how to pronounce her name. This class might be good
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I woke up with my wool blanket soaking wet on the dorm room floor, and my sweatshirt hanging on the shower door down the hall. So basically my camp-out-in-the-bathroom idea didn't turn out as planned
I may be a feminist, but I am not above using my body to distract you if it means I might beat you in a game of scrabble.
Where you been?
Please tell me this is a booty call
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
