I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
thanks so much for stopping me from telling him i want to have sex with him while i proceeded to hookup with the air.
Well. It was around 3 or 4 in the morning. He ran into the woods. Wearing moccasins. Holding an extension cord. He was trying to catch a deer. That about sums up the awesomeness of the night.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
She just mixed her Emergen-C with champagne... Vegas here we come!
I. recorded a message of me yelling at myself to "get up out of that bed" and set it an alarm. REALLY loud
Judging by your snapchat you're totally working on your project and definitely not singing, "The Sign" while shirtless with another man.
Did you go to church in Texas and sign me up?
You need southern Jesus
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
You probably shouldn't do that...but if you do take pictures
So her ex boyfriend came up a lot in conversation while I was fucking her. Is that weird?
Who the fuck has a conversation during sex?
I just fucked her boyfriend. Happy birthday, bitch.
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