I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
Fuck, now I'm not only the other woman, but the pregnant one
And a psychic told me I was pregnant and I am just so over life right now.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
He also gave me two gold stars for sex. On my nipples.
Know what was probably a bad idea? Using white wine as a mixer for vodka.
The cops came, and I made friends with him. He wants me to babysit his kids.
I just got hit with cramps and found a mystery pill. I'm gonna stay put for an hour and at least see what happens.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
Do you lock your house? Serious question, I need to know if I can add it to my list of emergency poop stops
I DEMAND FORESKIN
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
Randomize
