ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
I think she just tried to waterboard me with her vagina.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
just found my diary from when i was 14. i demand a drinking game of this.
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
But Monday we'll be living in a post-apocalyptic hellscape. Also, I'm going to a champagne tasting.
Walked girl from last night to car as gf was driving up. Got slow clap from neighbors.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
You yelled "I gave my neighbor some of my bitch sauce" and then passed out. You now have drinking limits with us.
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize
