3:47a: I take it you're not on your way over
I think we should go ahead and pin a note to my shirt when we go out that says"do NOT buy me shots"
On the back we can put possible side effects may include: indiscriminate making out, brief crying spells, yelling in jibberish, and sudden sleep.
Just saw the first guy i ever slept with in drag. I can hear my grandfather saying "i knew she was a lesbian" somewhere
we marched down beaver avenue with lit tiki torches humming the olympics opening song.
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Im debating on how to word my craigslist post so i dont get arrested...
Dave a horae rider a coqw boy
i think i have weasels eating my brain. Also there is a skeleton staring at me from the back of the bathroom door. it's an awkward vomit. come find me please
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
I'm two sheets to the sexual wind
Just saw a midget on an elliptical. Epic.
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
I have no reason to put on pants anymore. This is my new reality.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
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