watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
when i grow up i'm putting garbage disposals in all showers of my house so when you vomit in the shower its easy clean up
I got a bikini wax for the first time today and I think I now understand feminism.
Of course I was flustered, I had a lot of penis in my face.
Just walked in on my older brother getting a bj. He told the girl to "keep going" and then attempted to high five me
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
So vagazzling was a success
STOP IT RIGHT NOW IM BEING A SINLESS CHILD OF GOD IN BED TRYING TO SLEEP AND YOURE SENDING ME MEMES ABOUT DICKS
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
Fuck it, I work hard. I deserve nice sex toys
i don't know what it is about you being around kids that makes me want to screw your brains out
That is the creepiest and also the sexist thing you've ever said
i think it's like a sexual celebration of not having kids
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
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