what the fuck were we smoking when we had a conversation about how my brother would be so proud if i fucked an orange alien?!?
Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Revenge fucks should not count towards the total number. They're justified.
Ya know, I lied. I wouldn't mess with him. Not because of the crazy/rehab issues... but because he wears tank-tops.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
He was the one that got away. From my vagina.
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
I don't know what to say to that. All I know is my vagina is trying to jump through the phone.
Keywords: shitstorm, police, jail.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
I'm a lady. Ladies do NOT hump the floor.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
If we both don't have awesome filthy sexual experiences to share in the morning...we are no longer best friends.
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
Randomize
