is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
it's like doing a sit-up... but, you're inside someone
You should be proud. How many people can say they GAVE a stripper an std?
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
It was like stroking your vagina with a cloud.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Idk I've been drinking all day and they're having me blow shit up. Like dont let the drunk chick play with fire and explosives. Common sense 101. I will fuck something up
he'll always be the guy that i fucked on the bathroom floor
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
It's like those toothpaste commercials where 4 out of 5 dentists would recommend your vagina
He just brought a live lobster to the party.
What's that? Is there a bottle of Jack calling me? I think so...
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
Randomize
