I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
Maybe she got knocked up by accident. I still refuse to believe that anyone actually INTENTIONALLY gets pregnant.
I only have two new blunt burns this year as opposed to freshman year's 6. This is growing up.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
I don't know what kind of soup they made, but it smells like condoms.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Sexting Captain while emailing my eharmony match about my low key weekend is hard.
Dude, half of south Mississippi has seen my taint. I'm not worried.
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
I did wake up to a random meat and cheese plate next to my bed, that was a thrill.
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
Apparently I repeatedly thanked the paramedic for saving the "happy new year" beads i was wearing. that bad.
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Randomize
