I'm totally gay for Miss Californiaaaaaa
oh sweet, sweet irony
he was so excited that he found the elusive clitoris. i was like look christopher colombus, just because you found it doesnt mean you knew what to do with it
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
So, you didn't have time to come pick me up but you did have time to get plastered and then write "champagne money" on every one of my statuses for the past month?
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
It was good I woke up with my mattress on top of me. I walked around naked the whole night as people wished my Happy Birthday.
She's still too new to the group to be comfortable with us just sitting down as a group and watching porn on the tv.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
So far, my day has been sparkling with the tears of a thousand rainbow unicorns. I'd say this is quality shit you've grown.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
My mom always wanted to raise a classy lady, it just turned out to not be her daughter.
Tbh you just need to fuck it out like I don't know another solution
Randomize
