Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
You know those creepy dolls that look like they are watching you from anywhere in the room? It was like that, but with his penis...
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
does doing it on an automatic sink count as shower sex?
I'm 50% sure my cousin put weed in these deviled eggs.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
Nautical themed porn is also great bc someone usually wears a captains hat
I left the office with a vacuum, 2 condoms and 300 dollars cash money. Tell me I don't have the most versatile job on the planet.
You know you're stoned when you tell your dog you're stoned only to realise he's not in the pickup
Anyways enough about genital fatigue...
Ive realized that in order for me to understand math, my professor has to be hot.
Randomize
