we got sick of 7 11 doubles so we made up a game where you just drink when anyone rolls a 5
thats barely a game just flip a coin
should we drink on heads or tails?
direct quote: "i'm so over my clit" either best or most awkward conversation possible with your COUSIN
The nice sales man at 711 gave me a handful of free lighters for buying a carton of cigarettes. I guess the depressed damsel in distress look works for me.
And then she said we stopped for a train and i tried crawling out the back window.. again, i dont remember this.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
well you haven't lived until you've been 86'ed from a family restaraunt
I'm on a cruise to the Bahamas and this text message is gunna cost me $10 but I need you to pray on my behalf for the things I'm about to do these 2 girls and what I did last night to a 35 year old mother of 3.
all of your clothes are in the front law. btw..sprinklers go on in 20 minutes
Any day that has a special name thats capitalized means you need to need to call in sick and get day drunk. That's why they are there.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
I just gave parenting advice and had a discussion about the distribution of wealth in america...in a bar. I'm starting to think its me and not you lol
Showed up to family party blacked out and in a turkey costume. I'd say thanksgiving was a success.
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
Randomize
