if i had a camp nickname it would be Flick Bean
he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
Why do i even want him? It's like his dick is a trophy and I need to put it on my wall of shame.
I'm a lady, I can't pee on the ceiling. Even I don't have that power.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
I've carried my liver for over 24 years. If it can't carry me for the next 24 hours than it deserves to be damaged.
I'll never forget how blunt of a wingman you were. "Excuse me, my friend wants to makeout with someone"
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
He told me he wants to eat me out all day while I lay in bed watching football. Seems like a solid foundation for a relationship to me.
Got a traffic ticket on the way home.. Literally cost me $171 to give him a blowjob. I swear the officer could smell the cum in my hair.
Now I'm ashamed that I wore a bra
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Apologies that our conversations always turn to butt sex or penis size. I thought we out grew that in our 20's.
Randomize
