Beverly Hills, 90210. Cleveland Browns, 0.
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I mean, I'd wanted to go skinny dipping, hook up with him and have sex on a beach, so last night I basically killed 3 birds with one super slutty stone.
I usually would've stopped there but I kinda remember opening the bottle of vodka, and we ALL know that's when things go downhill.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
Who the fuck superglued glowsticks to my arm.
IF WE WERE REALLY BEST FRIENDS FOREVER YOU GUYS WOULD AGREE TO A WATCHING A PORNO PARTY
There no better feeling of self control than stopping yourself before telling your girlfriend she gives head just like her sister.
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Just sold my panties for 40 bucks to some rando dude at the gay bar. I think I found a way to fund next years spring break trip. Hello cancun!
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
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