after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
drunk me is my new role model. he's fearless. like not even afraid of tornadoes.
i can't remember the last friday i didn't spend in the foetal position
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
votre penis est TRES GRAND. i used vous because your penis is SO big
Hey just wanted to let you know my nose is broken and I have a fractured wrist. I told you it wasn't a slip and slide.
Dude I didn't think you'd do it. I mean come on, who puts a slip and slide on their driveway?
I think it may of been me pulling down my pants is why she walked away.
You stole my crutches last night at the bar, the DJ had to ask for them to be returned
Oh Julie took your pants off last night, I put your pajama bottoms on, and Rachel took your bra off. It takes a village.
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
Has anyone heard from Jamie or has she actually just been having sex for 48 hours?
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
To be honest, the last time I saw him he had a jesus costume on telling people to pray to his bible.
So he's at the chuch?
No, hooters.
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