May have just accidentally purchased an iphone on Kate's credit card. This has potential to be bad.
He kept buying me shots of tequila. I decided to just save myself the half hour of toilet hugging and tell him straight up that I intended on sleeping with him. We got Tacos on the way home with all the money we saved.
A-plus on my thesis. I deserve the blowjob to end all blowjobs. And I wanna wear a crown while you do it.
Whiskey shot with bacon bits, our version of Goldschlager WE ARE TRYIN IT.
she bonged a coffee cause she was hungover. then she bonged a beer cause she got ambitious. then she barfed. then she had to start over again.
You put Smirnoff in your grape juice and called it communion...
No really tho I'm wearing a chucky cheese shirt and yoga pants. If that doesn't scream no sex idk what does
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
Woke up to the UT campus police fishing my boxers out of the university pool, guess it was a good night.
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
When Ben was deep throating pickles last night I actually reconsidered our relationship
I never thought my selfie stick would come in handy for nudes.
He keeps singing a song about someone called the dayman.
....fighter of the Nightman?
Getting on a bus with a beer pong table. I am proof we can make this campus fun.
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