So she puts out... but it wasn't worth it
If facebook stalking was a job I would totally pown it
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Fair warning: We've transformed the living room into a giant tent.
I knew my sign language would come in handy. I just used sign to coordinate a coke deal.
See what happens chris. I told u not to invite her over. Now shes on her way to jail and were stuck with two pomeranians.
I may puke in class so I'm excited to see how that goes
I HOPE YOU ENJOY THIS VDIEPO BECAUSE I AMS ENDIONG A LOKT OF EFFORT RECORIDNG IT
I ONLY PARTIALLY KNOW WHAT YOU SAID. BUT I THINK I WILL LIKE IT.
I effort
Besides he said his dick was as big as a loaf of bread and that it was broken. So I was like u have half a head of hair and a broken dick that looks like bread. No thanks. Im good.
Well, we all woke up in drag with no memory of why we were in drag. On the plus side, this shade of lipstick looks really good on me.
That isn't the worst part. It got a bazillion times more awkward when he read me a poem he wrote about his dead cat.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
Pretty sure I just scored Election Day sex based on the theory that if either of these fools win the world as we know it is over so we might as well get a few orgasms in...
Making friends with the guy who had alcohol-infused whipped cream was the best decision I made all night.
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
