I'm going to come in a little later this morning....there's no heterosexual way to say this....$1 flip flop sale at old navy
I'm drunk on a monday night. Not a good start to finals week
A guy just washed his hands in the toilet. No joke
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
I just conducted a skype meeting drunk and in the middle of a cornfield. I don't even think they noticed.
I would have dumped her already but between the 4 hr bjs and our shared love of enjoying thirsty Thursday naked while watching basketball I'd say its the best shot at love ill ever have
I put a zucchini in my pussy for you
I think it's safe to assume that dad heard you lose your lesbian virginity last night
who are you talking about my vagina to?!
I'm experimenting with sincerity
Peeing in taco bell cups is part of the fun of going to taco bell
He went in for a kiss so I shook his hand instead.
I hate her so much I want to fuck her boyfriend.
so i'm with my friends driving on the highway and just saw a guy in the car next to us sucking on a dildo. can't make this shit up.
My brain is like a TV with 10 channels, 9 of them are static and the other one just plays that one Nagito Komaeda edit on loop 24/7
Randomize
