it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
For future reference, when he drunkenly screams "YOUR MOTHER SUCKS COCKS IN HELL," he means that he's about to throw up. Invest in a bucket.
You know it’s going to be a rough day when you scream “Get fucked” at your alarm clock
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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