"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
VAGINAS EVERYWHERE
they're staring at me
So I answered the door in my underwear expecting my boyfriend. Instead I opened the door to Mormon missionaries. Do you think that was a sign from God?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
he just told me he'd rather go to the pirates game. i know it was desperate but i said id give him roadhead if he let me come along.
She spent a lot of time to get her cleavage to look that good. It would be rude not to stare. It shows you are paying attention. Chicks dig that.
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
seriously. next time...underwear. I'm not spending any other holiday season wondering if it'll be my last babyless one.
I just want to pat him on the head, bake him some cookies, and reassure him that, someday, he will get laid.
I found her outside drinking steak sauce out of the bottle.
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
Grrr. Fine. You get oral for being unwrong.
Fuck this. I'm adopting 12 cats and naming them after the 12 disciples. Maybe Jesus will have sympathy for me then.
I'm ne vrr drinkjng againnnnnnnn dforeal.
Randomize
