how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
I'm drunk off vodka and I haven't eaten today. I've never felt more like Kirsten Cohen in my life.
drunk freshman in the bathroom puking keeps saying "i'm a peasant" over and over
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Between the uncertainly of my bowels today, and the distance the bar is to my house, remember I am doing this for you and our mutual appreciation of alcoholism.
Why did you just send me a picture of your dinner?
CAUSE LOOK HOW MUCH SPAGHETTI I'M EATING
She sleeps with her hand around my balls. First I thought it was just a comfort thing. Now I think it's to make sure I can't slip away in the middle of the night.
I really wanted to pound but her roomate was making mac n cheese n shit so I was trying to time her moans to the drone of the microwave
PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
Found my bra in the fridge. See you in 10 mins. It's gonna be a good fuckin day!
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
I need to hurry up and get over my feelings for him so next year's tipsy reunion sex won't be clouded by emotions.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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