dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
You should probably wake up already as I have yet another story for you. Teaser? Blood from knife wound. Tequila. Guitar hero. Kitchen counter. Lawyer.
thursday was literally the first time i didnt drunk eat since the bush administration and it was only because i was fucking someones boyfriend. making a mental note to do that more often.
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Fuck I keep finding new battle scars from our fight. Justin told me I stabbed you with a broom handle.. Do you remember ripping my pants off?
So, we bought a knight today. Nearly life size. Hes in the garage, so don't be startled.
Sometimes you have a life bucket list item checked off like 4 tits in your face simultaneously and getting to bang them both. I'm sorry I bailed on skiing but not really. Coming over with a boombox playing 'heat of the moment' as soon as I can hail a cab cause I'm too drunk to drive still...
Of course I'm going to see her again. She had waterproof handcuffs in her shower.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
This year my vagina is giving thanks that several of my cubs are coming home for the holiday
Don’t drink the Bloody Mary - it’s vodka and salsa.
Randomize
