My dad just drunkly made a toast in front of my entire extended family "to my daughter the recent and sucessful college and to my son the drunken whore-monger"
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
Saw on the news tonight that Hamilton county's syphilis rate is 9x the national average...use protection!
Thanks, mom.
You know me. im down for anything that could harm my well being. lets dress like dolphins so everyone will see what dicks they are.
You were force feeding yourself jello and you kept repeating, "I will not surrender"
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
I rolled over and my thoughts became words and I said "oh fuck not you again" he didn't think that was too kind and asked me to leave
NATIONAL GIVE A BOSTON COP A BLOW JOB BITCH ROAD TRIP NOW
You ever fart so hard while you are asleep that you wake up screaming?
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
How the hell could he be confused. He had a naked girl running to him. I feel like he would enjoy that.
I just used a box o wine to refill a bottle o wine to more effectively drunk clean
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
Randomize
