ya know if you hadnt broke up with me, that porno we made wouldnt have a 3.3 rating on youporn right now...
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
All I've accomplished this quarter is making Uno an acceptable drinking game.
we couldnt tell if he was gay so we started working glee quotes into the conversation to see if he noticed.
We just saw him running from campus police a few minutes ago. So no, I don't think he's still passed out on the quad.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Watching porn with a bag of marshmallows. Thats when you know you're stoned.
you really cant fit homeless dj into your budget? doubles as charity
threw up outside of the dorms in the parking lot in the pouring rain on the first day of class, i'd say summer is off to a good start.
Dude if you're not gonna answer them I'm gonna stop snapchatting you my hook ups
I said "sucks to suck" to a cop last night. We've been snapchatting.
Wanna get mid day margaritas tomorrow if I'm still alive
you were grinding on the cop whispering for him to lend you his tazer.
Randomize
