This girl is very crazy
She's one of those compassionate ppl
So everything I said on this seemingly endless date offended her
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
This is my last and worst hangover of the decade...I almost cherrish it
she said she'd blow me if I bought one of her sorority raffle tickets. Goddamn it's gettin easy
woke up this morning with a big mac and chips on a plate, coke in a glass and a knife and fork AND NAPKIN waiting for me in front of my computer. PORN WAS ALREADY PLAYING. I LOVE DRUNK ME
when you wake up try not to move. we are betting to see if more sprinkles stuck to you or the pong table.
Idk. I'm naked in front of the computer eating ribs. All is right with the world.
That's so nerdy and hot at the same time.
For future reference "I'm too drunk to come today" is an acceptable line to get out of work. I love my job
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
You showed them your nipple for dollars for the jukebox. You were depressed because only one of your songs played. Oh then you twisted your ankle and blamed it on your mad stripper skills.
No shame in my game.
But really- as the voice of your vagina I am BEGGING you to do it. If not for yourself than for your poor innocent puss
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
you told the taxi driver your yeast infection was so bad you wanted to F a popsicle
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Are you still passed out in my back seat, or do I need to come find you?
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