The new Black Eyed Peas song is the stupidest shit I've heard since the last Black Eyed Peas song.
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
she is medically diagnosed as a nympho. she has the paper to prove it. hell. fucking. yeah.
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
Just put a dog collar on someone's child.....was a great hit with everyone but his mom.......I think she hates me. I'm okay.with that
you can't tell me you didn't shit your pants I saw them in the trash can by the bathroom.
My liver hurts and I just woke up from my first sleep in two days
Sounds like the perfect vacation
We are smoking a hash blunt ... Bring your emergency inhaler
My dad just asked if I could bring snacks to jail this weekend. Like what does he think this is, some type of adult play date?
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
My vagina is officially offended.
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
I never truly understood the phrase ball is life until I started having to balance NBA finals and all these men with balls i'd like to handle.
He asked if we were going to take advantage of his drunken state. When we said no he tired to show us what we were missing out on. It was so sad it almost made him cute.
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