If i could tip my vagina, i would.
I'm leaving my hospital band on when we go drinking tonight. I'm aiming for pity sex.
It's a lightpost hitting you in the head. Of course it's going to hurt the day after.
Our idea of a "deep conversation" was successfully forming complete sentences.
styled my pubes into a mustache as a surprise. Thought you should know
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
You've thrown off my entire schedule. Usually SATURDAYS are my "try to hide the jizz on my leggings" days
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Just threw up in the shower. Hangovers at 23 are the best.
Our friendship just got weirder. He snapchated me the porn he was watching.
She just took all of the blankets in the house and threw them in the yard, because 'the grass was cold'..
the D I S R E S P E C T of sending someone nudes, them opening it, and not bothering to respond
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
Randomize
