there was a trapeze. enough said
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
I'm babysitting and we're watching Barney and I don't understand why Barney can magically make band hats appear but he makes them make shitty ass instruments.
Barney's a jerk
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
I just ate nachos topless with a fork. Live with meeee
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
He wouldn't give me a cup of water for my bong so i sat in the drive thru to run up the timer until he gave it to me.
That awkward moment when you can't tell what smells like tacos: you, the cat, or the strange guys blanket your so tenderly swaddled in.
How does a law student 15 days away from graduation prepare for a pass fail final? Drinking beer, eating thick cut bacon, and watching game of thrones, that's how
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
We broke into the kitchen, stole cooking aprons, and wore them on the dance floor.
tonight at the bar some people told me that I have a sprit following me around.. that's the kind of shit that you laugh off till you're home alone.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
listen. i haven't sucked a dick in well over three years but i believe in myself.
Randomize
