OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
Thanks for ditching me last night. I got a ride home from the Dominos delivery guy. You owe me 3 large pizzas.
I love seeing the creepers that friend request me outside of facebook. its like seeing a unicorn in the middle of campus.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
I woke up naked dangling by my feet from the balcony over his foyer. He's officially my new favorite booty call.
It's like if you got one of your titties chopped off...think of how much one would miss the other...that's how I feel when we're apart. A tit with no twin.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
True love: he brought me a margarita while was in the shower. He's a keeper.
First day back to class and I have already pulled out the hard liquor
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
Your clever response has earned you a blow job this week
I HATE HIM SO MUCH I HOPE HE GETS IN SOME WEIRD ACCIDENT WHICH MAKES IT IMPOSSIBLE FOR HIM TO NUT
i feel like you should know pants are always optional
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