Best feeling in the world? holding your pee all day for a negative preggo test
You were in my dream and you got the lyrics to lollipop tattooed on your chest. Don't get it, it wasnt that cool.
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
I wish I could walk around this campus with a big stamp that says "Approved" and just stamp girls asses as they pass.
i just remembered that i did the "single ladies" dance ON THE BAR...fuck you slippery nipples i curse the day i discovered you
Somehow me not being able to breathe due to cocaine doesn't seem very domesticated.
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
Everything was going great until my fake mustache fell off when we started making out.
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
Ended up getting hot boxed in a limo with a bunch of asians going to a karaoke bar. I think I pretended to understand their language for a solid hour. Am I bilingual now?
also please imagine me hopping a fence at 3am using two chairs. It was a shit show. K's guy practically ripped her off the top of the fence bc she got semi stuck. It was like watching Disney on Bud Ice.
Well, let's just say, I got that eye patch like we were joking about
My roommate just threatened to kill me with my own pan. Can I ever get away from the crazies?!
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
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