I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
i just peed out my two story window using my cell phone as a flashlight . hope the neighbors didnt see
some girl that im facebook friends with has H1N1, im scared to even go to her facebook page
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
Were taking tot shots. If toddlers could drink these are the size of shots they would take
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
just gonna show up naked this time. that way i dont have to worry about finding my clothes tomorrow
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
Was he good-huge or like "what the fuck do i do with this"-huge
barely 48 hours and I've done the dirty on both of my roommates beds before they've even slept in them
Hey can you tell Daniel there's a bottle of Captain Morgan's in the dryer ...
Sorry I think you have the wrong number
Yes it looks like I do
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
I like to send nudes ok? If that's my biggest flaw I think I'm ok
My life is far to together for someone who's such a hot mess inside
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