If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
He kissed my cheek and I could smell it the whole way home like shit
It was her 21st and she had one drink and fell asleep. I hate 90lb girls.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
I SWALLOWED her nuva ring. Please tell me how your night could have been worse.
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
my drivers license is super glued to my shoulder and im to hung over to get it off come and help me
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
Drunk logic "let's go outside in front of the bar to get sick"
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
He really only has clothes, like 4 boogie boards, and a bong here.
He and I didn't so much date, as watch cartoons and go down on each other.
I serenaded the cat in the hat for a few 90s songs but idk who he is
Oh, and Harry Potter. We could be fuck-and-Harry-Potter buddies.
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
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