This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
White wifebeaters are like orgies with fat people. Enjoyable in private, i'm sure, but in public: no thanksss.
I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Life lesson: using the oven as a heater= $500 electric bill
My new years resolution is to be alive new years morning
My professor just used the phrase "balls deep in your mind". My day is officially made.
I think I just saw my 8th grade band teacher trying to pick up a hooker
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
So what's the moral standing on reading gay porn on your phone whilst sitting next to your 87 year old Grandma?
Get ready tonight we are going to get drunk and pierce my nipples
My sensibilities as a lady demand we cuddle on the couch, and THEN have loud, raunchy sex. Idk, what do you want to do?
In any case. I fucked a married couple recently. Know what a straight person would've done there? Been super weirded out by 1/3 of the genitals there, that's what.
just passed a kid drinking a beer at 2pm. clearly it's the last day of break.
That’s the third time this month he’s hooked up with a girl by telling her it’s his bachelor party, and he’s not even dating a chick let alone engaged.
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