Small Doughy Asian men and sleeveless hoodies with nothing underneath do not mix well.
Sounds like the climatic scene of my favorite erotic novel.
she stopped mid-blowjob to explain how to acheive the haircut shown in the movie
Two dudes got up on top of the pianos and danced shirtless. They didnt even get kicked out. I love vegas
We both bought three foot bongs...going to race to see who can smoke a mile first.
i'll get you drunk even if i have to inject alcohol into your arm through an IV
you're the only one i would trust to do that
Haha that's why you never name the penis. Its like a pet, once named you will most likely get attached.
Just put an ad on Craigslist for a fake groom... I'm sure only non creepy sane people will respond to it
Omg. Some dude is jacking off in Kelly's bathroom.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
He said "just hugs" and ran away screaming.
So it may have been laced, sue me.
Dude Carly, it's like, inconvinent how often you cause me to have an erection
I remember grabbing your ass. So firm. So right. I don't regret it.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Do not confuse my plans for being an adult though. I will ABSOLUTELY be practicing suturing, on my porch, while getting stoned.
I have a whole new respect for her. She chugged half a bottle of jack daniels, and then peed all over his wall. Serves him right.
Randomize
