I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
make sure nobody uses the downstairs toilet. i like to have an unused toilet for the weekends. dont shit where you puke i always say.
Im down. Even tho your nick name intimidates my vagina.
A girl just told me she printed out my pictures and taped them on her wall. I have to stop sleeping with virgins.
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
Woke up at 10 with bourbon being shoved down my throat and him yelling, "shot train! Don't be a bitch"
You just put lesbians and Hogwarts in the same sentence. Of course I'm in.
ROB LOWE. SO BEAUTIFUL. SO DOUCHEY. SO HARD TO SPELL HIS NAME WHEN DRUNK.
Why is it I can't go buy redbull and tylenol pm from a store without getting questions about my health choices?
Her cop pants made me imagine I was riding a unicorn and by unicorn I mean her face
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Howd last night go?
well he stumbled in my parents door drunk and then asked my mom if she was my grandma. Id say as far as first impressions go, he failed miserably
i know were having a "heart to heart" right now, but does it make you feel uncomfortable that im sexting someone right now?
Randomize
