Something clean will definitely be barfed on tomorrow.
You know you have a problem when the only thing that saves you is that you drank so late into the night that you sleep through the designated walk of shame time window
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
All I did today at work was try to remember in vivid detail what your cock looks like.
the last thing i remember is fucking her. GAME CHANGER i woke up in another bedroom to her younger sister blowing me
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
They are currently going door-to-door asking the neighbors to donate money for Cheez-Its and gift wrap. They asked me to stay back at the house to make another pitcher of margaritas.
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
I feel like an ass. I'm not blacking out ever again. I want to clean your feet for a year. Just like Jesus did.
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
We created a neighborhood watchdog drinking game
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
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