In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
Sarah, plain, and tall I adore you
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
she could've warned me his penis was curved
ya i dont think she expected you to get with her boyfriend.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
I think I've officially made out with the entire starbucks staff.
Look. You've gotta stop making this about you, and make it about my vagina.
Dont tell her I prefer to have an aura of mystique surronding me and my penis.
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
My code for I need help will be if I'm holding a bud light lime..
Seriously, fuck work.
uh yea I'm curled up in the trunk of my car
Well I took a spicy wing shit in a field this morning.
I'm currently deliberating if I'm going to be too drunk on New Years to handle wearing false eyelashes.
so my dads pretending to use the snow blower and theres absolutley no snow one the ground.... someone should really lock our liqour cabinet
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