I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
I am currently prioritizing my hw by splitting into things i can and things i cant do drunk. Oh college
I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.
Successful day.
Ah that type of Dick. I think my phones trying to make me less of a whore by capitalizing Dick. That way it looks like I'm talking about a dude not penis
I just had sex in a cardigan. Made me feel old. Smarter somehow, but old.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
Someone in a vagina costume on campus.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
Dude. Cab ride home consisted of me making out with an Asian girl sitting next to my Dad
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
after she rolled over and said 'i'm so glad you're like my gay best friend, love you' then left. did i just get friendzoned AFTER sex??
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
walk of shame. I'm wearing my rain jacket over my dragon costume. My tail keeps dragging in the rain.
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
I think drunk me is trying to kill me.
Randomize
