paul mccartney is starting to look like angela lansbury
so chris just stuck his hand between rachel's legs and yelled 'TROUT!' and we were like...you're wasted
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I'm hoping to finish this bottle of wine before I pass out, I don't want the remainder spilling on my white down comforter.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Dude you don't even know. I spilled the tequila and it took 4 people to stop me from drinking it off the table.
Her mom walked into the garage as we were smoking a kush blunt with sombreros on.
dude this night sums up my single life. naked, crying, and covered in honey. i need to get laid.
I just want to let you know how hung over I am today and I fucked a girl in a kangaroo costume last night.
I'm convinced that the Christmas lights in my room contributed to the great sex.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
He sent me a recycled dick pic! He could at least use one without sunlight in it, considering it's 10pm
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
just woke up and had to check if i still had pants on, i really need to stop drinking
Randomize
