Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
I just made this asian woman on the boardwalk that was giving 20 dollar massages upset after I asked her if a happy ending comes with it.
I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
please tell me that the half empty jar of cocktail sauce on the table has nothing to do with my missing seamonkeys
I would have added her but her profile pic was piece of pie
i got totally wasted at 2pm and cleaned the house bc i was bored. my mom now supports my alcohol problem
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I don't think casual Fridays means I can go to work with dried cum in my hair...
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
Single lady's Saturday night: eat doritos, masturbate, eat more doritos. Do shot of Jager. Repeat until desired result is achieved.
lol show me an arrest record and I'll drop my panties
All I know is I woke up in the back seat of my car, with the engine on, and my gps navigated to florida.
Randomize
