Literal conversation "you are ________ ____. you facebook friended me"
Her little brother was home, so we had to hook up while playing hide and seek with him
you'll be glad to know I got kicked off the microphone at a bar in Breckenridge last night thanks to my country rendition of all star
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Those titties aren't worth a lifetime of listening to her talk about gluten free yams and japanese manga.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
But theres a keg here and me gusta
Well, let's see..I held him while he cried for 30-40 minutes, woke up on his couch AND he gave me a ride home in his underwear. Shit show is not even the half of it.
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
He said he's in to distance fucking. I thought he just mean long durations. We fucked on a towel all the way down his tile hallway accross his kitchen and into the living room
HIS DICK IS SO AWESOME DUDE. 15/10 SURPRISE
I just drunkenly signed my mortgage application...
Is this how the global financial crisis happened?
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
