He just went up to bed, still drunk from last night, carrying a pear, a pipe, and an unopened bottle of wine. I think he'll be fine.
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
Remember that time we became friends because I shotgunned a Tall Boy in your bathroom?
Those memories are both hazy and awesome.
I'm on a no morals kick. That'll be 3 girls in 24 hours....ending 2011 with a bang
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
We haven't even scratched the surface on the damage we could do. Just saying
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Though I feel a moral obligation to take you there, point out all of the male supervisors and slap you on the wrist and yell, "NO!!"
He called me piss drunk at 7:30pm while cooking bacon and said he was going to bed. I don't think he's taking it well.
Well I was thinking of taking him out for drinks then lecturing him about his drinking... kind of like an open minded intervention
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
After drinking all day I popped an adderal, slammed three beers in a row, apparently told the bartender "thanks bitch" then ran on stage.
And then he peed in my hair
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