we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Found your pants in the mailbox
What were my pants doing in the mailbox?
I don't know but there's postage on them
we've coined the Sunday morning ritual of taking out our puke-filled trash cans as The Trash Of Shame
he said verbatim, he wants to "bang you hard".
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
That chick went from zero to shitshow in only 6 shots.
Jake and I will do a protection ritual for ur dick I don't know where she has been
Because guys aren't supposed to cry. Especially when it's over a dude singing a Christmas carol.
She keeps feeding me drugs. Its like I'm her baby bird or something
You were too drunk yesterday to deal with me crying so I am too drunk to deal with logic.
Stop calling dibs on everything with a vagina you jackass.
That should be the title of my autobiography.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
If I'm not naked in the back of a cop car having sex by the end of the night, I did something wrong..
Randomize
