It's not real sex if he's just convulsing inside of you.
I'm in the dining hall. that same guy is here again, the one who sits alone and talks to his silverware.
Using what I learned in my global terrorism class last semester to sneak booze onto my cruise. thanks college.
What can I say, he stumbled upon the key to my heart: orgasms and mac 'n cheese.
You know, I had the money for a pregnancy test, but at the time, tacos were more important.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
K, so let's go ahead and say that mcnugget and margarita Tuesday was a bad idea
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
You are attracted to power and since you can't date the married old guy you have to go for the next best thing - his gay son
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
Your aunt just offered to blow me for a ride home....how did you end up such a prude?
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
Randomize
