then he tried to tell me how many times he had seen Scott's dick. his estimate was about 180 times. he thought I didn't understand.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
Rub those nipples and moan like a platypus.
Jesus, are you hammered?
Hammered for that juicy ass. I'll bring the straws.
Can I tell him I got herpes from your bong instead of from that guy who claimed to be an olympic diver?
possibly one of my favorite moments was wiping it off your nose after you high fived a bouncer
Going through Bojangles drive thru chanting "KFC" hammered at 8:00 was the highlight.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Drunk texting is the poetry of my life
Only I could get hit on by homophobic straight guys in a drag bar.
You haven't lived until you've thrown up naked in a hotel room in Fargo while holding your breasts so they don't touch the toilet bowl.
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
sex on acid sucks though, i want to connect with the universe not your dick.
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
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