Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
I didn't take her seriously until she snorted that ramen noodle flavor packet...
I had ketchup on my elbow and a random girl goes "I got it" and licked it off, only on game day
Bad news? she threw her drink in his face, left her phone at the club, and disappeared. I found her laying in bed with the bottle she stole from our VIP service. Good news is she's asleep and I have the bottle, come home
GET OVER HERE. HOTTIE ALERT
^^^This is why you should have charged your phone prior to going out.
I'm about to be a GTA V widow, he could at least throw me a bone. Literally.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Is it bad that I tried to build an outfit based around "What do people who use condoms look like when they buy condoms?"
I need a beard to bite.
Let he who has not made drunken spaghetti at 3 a.m. cast the first stone.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
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