are you wasted or are you getting laid?
ebdebdebdebd
wow
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
You can jump from the roof to the pool. Trust me. I have done this before.
WHO JUST REMOVED THAT SAME BOARD IN TWO MINUTES FLAT WITH NO INJURIES, SHOES, SOCKS, OR BRA?! THIS BITCH. CRACKIN A BEER FOR DA SHOWA. BITCHES AIN'T SHIT MOTHAFUCKA
She just won 2 Grammys at 17 and were sitting here hotboxing our half bathroom
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
I'm not getting off this floor. I love this floor
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
I wish I could say this wasn't the first time I shit myself in a Piggly Wiggly.
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