He had some BAD nuttage
Nuttage?
It's like cleavage......... but different
I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
Well i just learned hong kong is a country...thank you olympics
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
Is it bad that I had sex with another guy on my boyfriend's bed while he's out of town?
Just flip the mattress, it erases all
Done and done
I bruised his dick. I bruised his dick WITH MY MOUTH!! I've never felt more accomplished.
IM DRINK YORE HIFH WE ARE POSTERCHOLD OF AMERICA
You just yell-acapella'd the theme to fresh prince of bel air to me while a different song is playing in the bar.
Some crack addled fool from the sketch ass motel behind the restaurant just gave me a flyer for an AA group when I was on my smoke break. I don't do mornings
I wanna die. I can't recall the last time I was happy that doesn't involve your hand touching my butt.
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
I tried to face swap with Chuck Norris. His face was too powerful... it broke my snap chat.
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
My parents heard a lamp fall and crash and the dogs were barking like crazy so my mom got up to check. she found you peeing in a corner by the tv. And you kept shhhing her.
Randomize
